500 And Something Days BAT Free

SO, it’s been something past 500 days since my BAT (BIG ASS TUMOR) was removed…If you’re just reading for the first time head back in my blogs and you will learn all about my going “man down.” So, thanks and much love to those who keep encouraging me to write and to those who offer me love and pearls of wisdom when I start to doubt myself… Here are 10 bits of where I am now and what I’ve learned…

1. Brain surgery sucks, but like any other setback in life there’s really only one option- put one boot in front of the other and keep on moving forward. Some days will be better than others, but never stop trying. Failure or giving up is just not an option on the road to recovery. Be mad, sad, happy, whatever, but keep going.

2. It takes a long effing time to get heal, especially when we’re talking about nerves in your brain and all. I so want to be 100%, and I have been pushing myself to get there. But, damn, it’s hard. The body needs time to heal. I still have "brain pain" but I think that's pretty normal. I try to be patient and kind with myself, but I have never been the best at all that. So, I am thankful for my friends and family that remind me that I'm doing fine, these things take time, and it's okay when I get frustrated and down.

3. So this is just an FYI. Brain surgery is expensive! Dang! Even with insurance the costs are crazy. I am so thankful for my Doctors and the staff and that our insurance covered a lot of it. Brain surgery costs without insurance run well into the 6-figures as you can imagine. I will save the rest of all that, but it definitely has pretty significant financial impacts that suckS. :p My heart knows that God and the Universe has a plan. After everything, we will be just fine.

4. Conducting research on your condition and all is good, but too much can be, well, too much. At one point I was into learning more about my meningioma tumor, and I joined a facebook group for people with the same condition thinking it would be enlightening and supportive. Instead, I found it to be depressing and unhealthy for me. It's easy to read these groups and get depressed or spiral down… so I simply stopped reading and just focused on what I thought would help in my recovery. Being with friends and family and focusing on what YOU think is right can be the best medicine. And, laughter is one of the best medicines..

5. If you hear anything I tell you-please remember this- STAY ACTIVE! Hopefully you remember me telling you about our 96 year old neighbor Marvin? He is a WWII, Korea, and Vietnam Vet and he is amazing. He still walks 5 miles every single morning-rain or shine and does 100 push ups a day. Marvin is a bad ass. SO, I have used him as a role model of sorts. If Marvin can do it, then I damn well can too. So, I have been working out quite a bit and even teaching a bootcamp three days a week (and I LOVE my bootcamp peeps- they are awesome and inspiring each in their own way and mainly they make me laugh, even when they are swearing at me.)

6. So, I just finished my Master of Art in Organizational Leadership. OMG- I can’t believe I actually completed it. Everyone asks what I’m going to do with it- heck, I have no idea, but I have my Masters so I’m pretty stoked about that. I started my classes again about 4 months after my surgery and that was HARD- like really, really hard to get my brain working. I didn’t think my neurons would ever fire and connect again. Simple 5 page papers were sooooo difficult, but the more I did them the easier it got. I do wholeheartedly believe that pushing myself to learn, read, complete papers and other assignments has been really important in my recovery. The brain is amazing. I survived all of the challenges and honestly I know doing the work has made a huge difference in my recovery. Never stop learning- brain surgery or not.

7. Okay- the physical stuff. Hair is almost grown back to where it should be. Dent in head is still there and it’s a pretty decent size, but no one could ever tell. Oddly, I have random bumps appear on my head that weren’t there a few weeks back. Not sure if that’s normal, but it is what it is… My body, well I don’t look like a bloated sausage anymore which is awesome, but I’m not back to where I’d like it to be either. This is just another part of the journey where I am trying to be patient with myself.

8. Friends. I really made some amazing connections through all this. I learned a lot about those around me and this terrible situation helped me to reconnect with some awesome friends locally and from across the country. I will always be so very thankful for those who were there when I needed them the most. I have had to change parts of my lifestyle since my surgery and I have stayed more local which has given me the opportunity for more connections here at home which has been really wonderful. Having the opportunity to meet and reconnect with some incredible people keeps my heart happy.

9. Keep drivin’ on. Throughout this entire process I can tell you that I pushed myself hard-like really hard. My mom says that I am doing too much, but honestly I can’t help myself. Sometimes I probably pushed myself more than I should have and I continue to because about 525 days ago I didn’t know what I would ever be able to do, and damn it, I am not done making a difference in this world. Yes, I am hiking, bootcamping, training, and I even signed up for a Sprint Triathlon (OMG- what the hell was I thinking?!?!) I am working hard so that I can be strong and healthy and when I’m 80 years old I can still put on a pack and climb that mountain and be like Marvin!!!!

10. Time is our most precious commodity and it is not something to waste. It’s hard to write this, but two incredibly special people who I have written about in my past blogs who have had their own brain issues, are sadly no longer with us. I know they would want all of us to live each day full of life. As the saying goes, the older we get, the faster it goes. Use your days to do something important. Do something in your life that makes a positive difference- think about the ripple effect- even the smallest pebble will make a difference regardless the size of the body of water. You never know the impact you might make in someone’s life. Going through this I have firmly determined that in the end, I want to know that my life added value to my family, my community, and my country.

As always, thank you from the very bottom of my heart for taking the time to read. I hope that you grab something from my words that touches your heart as well.

May your days be blessed, I promise another very special blog soon!

Mel

PS- I leave you with a great song that I hope you take the time to listen too...it's Alex approved too... <3. Try EVERYTHING!!!! :)