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Perseverance- not Perfection


It's Valentines Week and three years post craniotomy to remove my my particially classified, avidly enhancing extra-axail meningioma mass lesion impinging on the parenchyma of the high left frontal lobe. With that I want to take a minute to express a tremendous THANK YOU to everyone who has supported me throughout this insane journey. The journey isn't over as there is still healing that needs to happen AND IT WILL!! But I wanted to give a valentines gift to you, it is not chocolate, but my hope that my words have been an inspiration/comfort/challenge/joy/ and reminder of how precious life is! My entire goal of this blog has been help others- I hope you have been one of them!

If you've read my blogs, you know that before and since, I have suffered with depression and anxiety (as scary and painful as it is to type and share with the world). It's ironic, but if you type into your browser, "Brain Surgery and" the first suggestion it comes up with is "Brain Surgery and Depression." Yep- it's all in my head!!! It's fascinating to read the research available on this topic. I have a belief that not only does a tumor/ brain surgery highly impact your brain functions in so many ways, but it is also tremendously hard on a person because often you just don't come out the same on the other side.

After my surgery, I couldn't drive and felt incredibly isolated during my recovery. I was working so hard to heal and I was so incredibly blessed to have amazing folks check on me, but the hours of aloneness, the physical pain, and the mental anguish of not knowing if my brain would ever be "normal" really was one of the most difficult challenges I've faced. I firmly believe that medical institutions absolutely should offer counseling and support group opportunities to anyone who has undergone such a life altering procedure. If you're going through this now- please give this gift of support to yourself. It matters. You matter. Depression and anxiety aren't a choice, but there are options to help you to find the light. You're worth doing the work. No matter what the circumstances are, seek help if you are struggling.

As I continue to research TBI's (Traumatic Brain Injuries) I have found so many connections to quality of life issues. One issue that has hindered me tremendously has been this crazy connection between TBI's and Gut Health. My close friends and family know how much I have struggled in this area. I knew it was surgery related, but I chalked it up to having had to take so many pills (including ibuprofen and other OTC meds) for over a year to help me deal with the pain. Now looking at the research, it really is a thing..."Similarly, TBI patients with dysautonomia sustain more complications and experience worse outcomes [82]. The disturbance of this axis between the gut and vagus complex in brain-injured patients can also result in physiologic intestinal changes, which likely also impact the gut microbiome [86,87]." Don't worry- I won't get too technical- just wanted to remind you that your gut (excuse the pun) is usually right! Struggling to find the right answers to this one- if you've read any recent headlines, so many talk about the connection between the brain and the gut. I really just want to feel better.... Link to entire study is at the bottom if you're interested...

There has been a dominoe affect since my BAT (Big Ass Tumor) showed up in my life- some wonderful, some absolutley terrible, but I am chosing to accept it all and look at it in the best light possible. I'm continuing to do the work everyday regardless. Some days that is easier than others, but there's also so much to live for- even if at that precise moment it doesn't always feel that way. In the end, we have to remind ourselves that it's all about perseverance and not perfection. We have to live up to our own expectations rather than the expectations of others. It's also been important to realize that not everyone is going to understand me or even like me and that can be a difficult but liberating idea to accept. We are all 100% whole and perfect as we are- dents and all. Those who have loved, accepted, supported and challenged me through these past 3 years I whole heartedly say thank you!!! You are the best valentines gift to me.

I wish you all a wonderful week and Valentines Day! Remember that the best gift you can give yourself and this world is to accept and love yourself. Thank you for being you and for taking the time to read my blog!

"You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” —Buddha

-Melany

As always- here's your song!!!! My daughter and I love Miranda!

Reference: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6025245/


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