A Renegade Attitude.
Friends- As I have mentioned, I have lots of thoughts swirling in my head and I am doing the best I can to process through them. This blog has been helpful, so thanks for reading. I know that it might come across random and all over the place, but that's a pretty accurate assessment of where I am so it's only appropriate I guess. I have at least 5-6 different blog subjects floating through my brain that I really want to stshare with you and I have struggled with what and when to share. I am going to go with my gut/ heart here and just post what feels "right" for me, so thanks for your patience and understanding.
I have been remarkably touched by the outpouring of love and support from family, friends, and even strangers during this situation. Obviously it all went down very fast. There was no time to research the tumor, the Dr., or much else. We just had to go for it in less than 24 hours and do what we needed to do. My husband and family have showed so much courage and love during this time. I obvioulsy posted a note on Facebook so that people had an idea of what was going on. Love it or hate it, Facebook is an invaluable resource for communication in today's world and it was a remarkably effective way to get the word out for prayers, love, light, and healing literally from around the world. The strength of the connectedness from everyone really transcended my positive surgery results and is making a huge difference with my recovery.
You don't know ghetto until you need to "up armor" your own trucks when you arrive in country. Renegades make it happen!
313th Forward Deployed with 44th Signal BN. Daga' Daga is dearly missed...
Keeping it real, I also won't pretend that it's been rainbows, glitter, and unicorns lately either. I did find myself crying for the first time on January 13th for a solid 5-10 minutes. Not sure why, just a lot of emotions I guess. It's healthy to get it out there and go through all the emotions, but I don't think it's healthy to stay in that moment. So, lets blog about something that's been weighing heavy on my heart.
What I really want to share with you today is why I will continue to work hard, stay positive, and I will never quit moving forward. Most of you who are reading this blog know who I am and know that I was an Army Captain. It was the ultimate priveledge to serve our Nation and to lead America's finest soldiers. Not a day goes by when I do not reflect on my time in the military or draw strength from my experiences I went through as an Army Officer and leader. As an officer, it is (or should be) all about your soliders. Mission first and people always. I was amazingly fortunate to have had some great mentors and leaders from ROTC at the University of Nevada, to Germany and my favorite Boss, General Cavanaugh, as an Aide de Camp. Yep, he wasn't afraid to pick a female Aide and always taught me to "Do the right things, for the right reasons." I learned so much from outstanding NCO's and the officers of 57th Signal Company, 3rd Signal Brigade, III Corps and more. It's impossible to list them all, but you know who you are and I thank you for helping to shape and guide me and for being here for me now.
My attitude now is a direct reflection of my time with my fellow soliders and my multiple deployments. I don't talk to much about what I've seen or been through overseas. I will say that there are are more times than I can count that if I'd been 30 seconds to a minute faster or slower in my pace, I litterally would not be here today. I wish this was an exaggeration, but it's not. It's the reality of war.
Here's the boys getting crunk on NA Beer. Like I said, humor was and is must...
I can remember how frequent incoming rockets and mortars were each night at Victory Base in Baghdad at times. There wasn't really anything you could do about it or place you could go to be safe. It got the point where you were in your rack, you would hear incoming fire, and I would simply roll over, grab my flack jacket from the floor, throw it over my chest, hope for the best, and try to get back to sleep. This was just reality for everyone.
In Iraq, I was the Company Commander for the 313th Renegades. I still believe with all of my heart that this was one of the finest group of men and women ever asssembled. We literally went through some serious situaions and they handled them all with dedication, humor, and the Renegade spirit...much to the chagrin of the Batallion Commander and the Command Sergeant Major...you could often find them shaking their heads like, "Ooh Lord, those damn Renegades." We proudly lived up to our name, within reason of course. I'm proud to say that I am still in touch with just about all of my Renegade peeps thanks to FaceBook.
The convoy....
Two of the bet 1SG's to serve.
57th Signal Command Team at Victory Base, Baghdad, Iraq
The Renegade attitude has helped many of us to continue forward with our lives, post many hardships. War is a harsh reality and at the end of the day you are dealing with enemies who are trying to kill you. It's not just a TV show or movie that looks very action packed and dramatic. It's real people with families, loved ones, kids, parents, doing their best every day to do their job to protect our freedoms as Americans and preserve our way of life. You have seen the news reports every day for decades now where people won't be coming home. We become callious to this and that is heartbreaking. The fighting doesn't end when you get home either unfortunately.
This post is dedicated to those who have made the ultimate sacrifice. I will continue to ruck up and drive on because they cannot. My Renegade Bad Ass attitude is for those who are no longer with us, because God, the universe, whatever you subscribe to, has determined that I still need to be here to fulfill a greater purpose. I honor the families who have to live on every day finding a new reality of struggling with the loss of a son, daughter, mom, dad, brother, sister, spouse, etc.
My blog today is dedicated to PFC Anthony D'Agostino, SPC Chris Hill, and the countless other brave men and women who gave their lives so that we can live free. Your loss will never be forsaken or forgotten. It is for these families that we must ruck up and drive on as they have done so bravely, for it is often far more difficult to be the one left behind. Thank you LTC Stephen Hamiliton for posting the link to the Renegade song on my FB page...you are a great leader and friend. Please take a moment to check out this powerful and inspirational video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1u-niluB8HI
57th Signal Battalion Leadership Post Iraq
LTC Stephen Hamilton
My Brave little soldier who handled business the day I went man down.